Life as a Wife of a Bishop

The thoughts and feelings expressed are my own heartfelt thoughts of my new life.  This new life has changed me, hopefully for the better and will continue to do so in years to come.

As we sat in the Stake President's office that Friday evening, I was feeling somewhat anxious.  I had been telling myself that the call from the Stake Executive Secretary was for Tom and not to worry.  However, the weeks prior to this evening I had felt feelings of urgency.  I wondered where those feelings had been coming from and now I knew.

We were invited to sit for a moment in the waiting area and then the Stake President asked for Tom to follow him into the High Council room.  I was then asked to wait for them in the Stake President's office.  My heart was pounding in my ears and I felt the silence sink into my thoughts.

After a few minutes of awkward smiling and short questions, Tom then joined me with the Stake Presidency.  They then discussed the logistics of a ward and talked about how many members were in our stake and wards.  Then out came the question.  Will you support your husband as Bishop of the new Pleasant View 17th Ward.

Little did I know what that exactly meant.  All I know is that Tom had sunk in his chair and his face was pale.  He couldn't sit up, his mouth was dry and he suddenly felt the worlds weight on his shoulders.

The next two weeks for us was torture.  Satan was working very hard on Tom and I could see him winning the battle.  I prayed like never before.  I prayed with all my heart and filled my sheets with tears.  Tom was wondering how in the world he was ever going to be able to finish his schooling, how he would keep up with work and a new calling.  He felt inadequate and unqualified.  Nothing I said was helping.  I knew that the call had come from the Lord and I knew that Tom could do this, but not without the Lord's help.

While we waited for the official sustaining, I didn't dare answer the phone or talk to my family.  I didn't dare mention the new changes that were coming.  I didn't want to let out information that was supposed to be held confidential.

On February 10th there was a special Stake Conference held for the purpose of creating the three new wards in our stake and for the sustaining of the new Bishoprics.  We had reached the climax of the past three weeks and had met as a family in discussing the rolls we would each play for the next five years.  We had to delegate many of the jobs that were once Tom's to the boys and me.  We all needed to step it up and have faith that things would work according to the Lord's plan.

It took me about two months before I would finally talk with anyone.  I mean really talk to someone.  I felt somewhat hesitant to say much because I didn't want to mess up.  I mean mess up, by saying the wrong thing.  I would find myself at times asking Tom too many questions.  He would smile and reply, "I can't tell you that."  I felt out of the loop of things.  My life had changed and things got really busy.  Sometimes, I find myself going into what I call "Survival Mode".  I just keep my head forward and my eyes fixed on the goals ahead and plow through.  Some days are crazier than others.

Tom and I have always been close and we use to share our thoughts and feelings quite often.  Now, there is a gap in our communication.  He isn't ever sure what he can share with me and I don't often share things with him.  For one reason, if it's gossip, I figure either he already knows, or doesn't need to know. However, I have come up with some ways to help me keep improving and to help our relationship to stay strong.

1.  Gossip is bad!!!  If you do hear gossip, it's best to leave the situation.  However, if you can't leave, try to change the subject, or gently remind them that everyone is a Child of God and they are doing their best.  I hear a lot of gossip and that bothers me.

2.  If there are concerns about your children, talk to your husband and decide together the best plan of attack.  Doing it on your own makes it difficult especially when the other spouse doesn't know of the concern.  Work as a team- that is the way that God wants us to work.

3.  Hugs and Kisses and I Love You's are very important!  There have been a few nights when Tom has come home late from the church and I have waited up for him.  Without asking "where have you been?" (you should already know) just hold them and love them and let them hear you say, "I love you."

4.  Develop friendly relationships with those in your ward.  Find out who is expecting and who is in need.  Giving service to others helps you find your place in the ward.

5.  Visit others together.  Just a month ago, Tom and I had the opportunity to visit a sister in our ward who's mother passed away.  I love being with Tom and this was a choice opportunity for me to go with him.

6.  Go to the temple often.  Plan a day and go.  Go often and stay long.  Enjoy the peace of the temple.

7. Get the kids to bed on time so you have time to talk.  Taking time to talk to each other makes a huge difference in a relationship.

8.  Pray!  I love prayers- because they work.  Family and personal prayer are so important.  Take time to really talk with your Heavenly Father.  He will answer your prayers and will bear you up when you need it.

9.  Enjoy the blessings.  There are true blessings that come to those who serve.  Always be mindful of the blessings you are given each day.  Watch for them and be grateful for them.  Share those blessings with the family so they are seeing them as well.  Take time to enjoy what Heavenly Father has given you- especially your family.

10. Be a Missionary.  I love praying for missionary opportunities and finding people we can help or share the gospel with.  This is how we can receive revelation and feel the spirit guiding us.

Heavenly Father has a plan for us.  We are striving to stay on that path that will lead us back to him. I have felt his love for me and watched the blessings pour on our family.  We have been given so much and in return have been asked to serve.  There is no greater joy than what we find in the gospel of Jesus Christ.  We all deserve to be joyful.  Remember, as President Monson said, "The future is as bright as your faith."  I see a bright future before us!

Perfect Timing

Glenn Beck Friday Night Events

Saturday after our day at the museum

Double rainbow that appeared after the audience was asked to pray for a change in the weather.

Bryce's birthday pie!

Happy Birthday Bryce

It all began the day we heard that Glenn Beck was coming to Salt Lake City, Utah.  Tom was able to get tickets for our family and we waited patiently for the day to come for "Man in the Moon."  On Friday, Bryce had a physical therapy appointment and I was given the assignment of stopping by the Grand Hotel to pick up tickets for the Independence Week History Museum.  When I arrived, I asked the front desk where to go for the information desk of the events and they sent me through a maze of hall ways leading there.  As I approached the tables filled with volunteers, I asked about getting tickets for the museum and they told me that they were sold out, but sent me to another area to ask the people who actually were selling all the tickets for the different events that were going on. 

When I asked about the tickets to the museum, they told me they were sold out, but they may be selling more in about 30 or so minutes.  At one time, the tickets were on sale for $10.  I called Tom and told him that I was at the front of the line waiting for tickets that would be for sale in 30 minutes.  His reply was to not get them if they were over $10 per ticket.  Then, as people were coming into the line, I heard  them talking about what a great museum it was and that it was something I didn't want to miss.  I got in line at the perfect time- as I was in the front of a long line of anxious others waiting for their turn.  I purchased 16 tickets to the museum.

30 minutes later, a man came walking up with several tickets for tours of the museum held every hour from 9:30 am to 5:30 pm.  I quickly decided to go with the 11:30 am tour.  Then the man announced they were on sale for $25 a ticket.  I was in a panic and didn't know what to think, as Tom had mentioned that if they were over $10 I was not to get them.  I hate this kind of pressure.  Then I asked the man, "What happened to the $10 tickets?"  "Well, we had to increase security and staff to accomodate the other tours and so we increased the price."  Then he asked if I had any children and I told him that we had several.  He asked the ages and wound up giving us four tickets for free.  That was $100 off the price.  So, I made an executive decision and purchased the tickets. The museum was amazing!!!!

Saturday morning, we all got up and got ready- including buddy Bryce.  He takes a little bit longer than the rest of us as he needs extra time getting around.  We left by 10:00 am and picked up Grandma.  As we headed into Salt Lake traffic, there was a crazy lady that was causing all sorts of havoc on the freeway.  She wound up blocking us off so we couldn't take our exit and wound up on another exit.  However, this proved to be a blessing in disguise.  

We arrived at the hotel and dropped off the gang at the front doors so Tom and I could go park the car. We quickly found a parking spot and speedily walked to the hotel where we met the others.  As we headed down the hall leading to the museum, I noticed a very familiar voice in the air and I looked up to find that Glenn Beck was walking toward us.  He paused for a second and said, "Hello Guys!"  I turned toward him and said, "Hello Glenn" then turned my head toward the kids that were following us in hopes that they would notice who was coming toward them.  Matt was pushing Bryce in the wheelchair and Glenn walked right up to him, shook Bryce's hand and said, "Hello there.  Thank you for coming."  Bryce was on cloud nine and for a brief moment, he could feel no pain in his hips.  He was so excited that he got to shake Glenn Beck's hand.

We soon got in line to go into the museum and the attendants asked what time our tickets were scheduled for- which was another 30 minutes.  They quickly let us in the door, so we didn't have to wait in line at all.  Shortly after our tour, we noticed that the line was down the hallway and around the corner.  

We then headed for all the venues that were selling items.  We noticed that there was a Michael Vey booth and Bryce and I quickly ran over to see if they had the new 3rd book out.  Then the brother of Richard Paul Evans showed us some posters and bracelets and he had four shirts signed by Richard just a few minutes earlier.  We purchased 3 shirts for $6 each, for the boys and they threw in some wristbands and a few holographic cards with the Michael Vey posters.  That was so fun!

If I hadn't arrived at the hotel at the right time to purchase the tickets, who knows if we would have been able to go.  If we hadn't been cut off the exit, would we have been able to meet Glenn Beck?   If we hadn't headed for the museum when we did, we would have had to wait in a huge line to get in.  It was a day filled with Perfect Timing!  

The Right Place at the Right Time

Recently, my family has experienced some trials or mountains to climb.  At times we have had discouragement or frustration, but with the help of our Father in Heaven, we have been able to keep moving forward with faith.

On January 16, Bryce returned from his service as a missionary in the El Salvador, San Salvador mission.  Both of his hips began to give him some pain around the first of Decemeber, that gradually became worse, until his last week he spent in El Salvador, he was confined to his bed.  Walking is difficult and he slowly shuffles his feet, while using a cane to relieve the pressure and pain he feels as he moves around.  When we go to doctor's offices or other places, we use the wheelchair to move him around.  It is quicker and less painful to use the chair.

After 6 weeks of searching and finding answers, we have found a doctor who will be operating on his hips.  He has Femoroacetabular Impingement bilaterally.  On his right hip, the pincer has worn into the labrum and has torn the labrum, producing a sharp pain.  He has pain all the time as there is no position that eliminates the pain, but lying down does help relieve some of the pain.

We have wondered why this had decided to manifest itself now, now that he is 19 and was serving on his mission.  Why did it not manifest itself sooner- when he was a little child?  This has been developing since he was a child, yet he has had no signs or symptoms of hip impingement until now.

I believe that the Lord has a plan for each individual person who is given life.  He knows what we can accomplish and he knows the desires of our heart.

In the short 5 months that Bryce was able to serve in El Salvador, I believe that he was able to do what the Lord needed him to accomplish.  His first companion was Elder Leonardo, whom Bryce grew to admire very much.  The two of them worked hard and strived to do what was asked of them.  Elder Leonardo was serving as the District Leader in Paleca when Bryce became his new companion.

One day while studying together, Elder Leonardo asked Bryce, "How can we become missionaries like Ammon?"  Bryce then received revelation and remembered a scripture that Matt had shared with him earlier, found in Alma 17: 2-3
"Now these sons of Mosiah were with Alma at the time the angel appeared unto him; therefore Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren; and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord; yea, and they had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth; for they were men of a sound understanding and they had searched the scriptures diligently, that they might know the word of God.
"But this is not all; they had given themselves to much prayer, and fasting; therefore they had the spirit of prophecy, and the spirit of revelation, and when they taught, they taught with power and authority of God."

Elder Leonardo and Elder Bryce decided then that they would begin fasting and offer prayers to the Lord on behalf of those they were teaching and those they would come in contact with.  Within this one day of fasting, they were able to commit two of their investigators to baptism, had been able to contact two more member referrals and had their lives spared when they came in contact with a gang.  (I'll write more about the gang later.)

This had made such a great impact on their companionship and those they taught, that Elder Leonardo decided to challenge the district to do the same.  The district began fasting and praying for miracles.  This plan grew throughout the district and the wards of each companionship were seeing great changes in their missionary efforts.

Bryce was later transferred to Los Llanitos on December 26.  He became companions with another stalwart missionary, Elder Defigueiredo.   Elder Leonardo was called as the Zone Leader in Paleca, Soyapango and continued to spread the work as described in Alma 17: 2-3.

Elder Defigueiredo sent our family a wonderful letter.

After reading this sweet letter, I knew that Bryce was sent to El Salvador for a reason.  He was in the right place at the right time.  He was an instrument in God's hands and by his ability to act upon the revelation that was given him, he was able to do what the Lord asked of him.  

When he was interviewed by his Mission President, he told Bryce, "The Lord has accepted your offering."    President Glazier then called our home to let us know of his love for Bryce and what an amazing missionary he was.  He wished he had a dozen more like him as he came so well prepared for his mission.  Many great leaders and teachers who were dedicated to their callings have helped prepare him to serve the Lord.

Had his Impingement shown earlier in his life, he probably would not have been called to serve in the El Salvador mission.  He would not have been able to touch those he grew to love.  

We are climbing our mountain- but we know that we can do this.  We will become what the Lord wants us to become as long as we keep our faith in His plan and our eyes looking up.

It is our duty and privilege to share what we know with others, so that we can help them on the path to eternal life.  We have been blessed with so much and feel that where much is given, much is required.   I know that there is no greater joy than sharing the message of the gospel with others.

Oh Deer, Oh Deer, Oh DEER!

Well, this is my new year's resolution!  Let's just get a new van!  We have been hit by two deer, some raccoons, cats, dogs, cars, trucks and a spiky ball of gray something stuff.  Seriously, our car speaks to other objects and tells them to hit us!  I think that this was my last straw with the van.

Today, I was on the computer sending Elder Bryce some important exercises from the Physical Therapist.  He has been having hip problems for three weeks now and it's not getting better.  So I talked with his Mission President's wife and she was so helpful and kind and reassuring that they would do what they could.  

Then, after all of the emotions of what might happen... I decided to go to the Temple and pray about things.  I was thinking that the 12:30 session fit into my schedule and then I remembered that I needed an appointment.  So I called the Temple and they only had one opening for me in the 3:30 session.  I arranged for Matt to pick up the girls and I headed off.

I love going to the temple and feeling so peaceful.  It is where I needed to be.

On my way home, I  had decided to follow the laws of the land and go exactly the speed limit.  I also drove the exact speed limit on the way to the temple.  As I drove, I tried to keep my eyes out for deer.  Apparently, they weren't watching for me too close.  Three deer bounded across the highway and I missed the first two, but hit the third.  I couldn't stop fast enough.

The tears came and I sat in the car wondering what in the world I should do.  I needed help so I called Tom first- but he didn't answer.  Then I got out of the car and picked up the front grill and my headlight off the road.  I got back in the car and called 911.  I had to try and explain where I was, because I had no idea what the address was.  Then, I waited for them to send out the search party for me.  

The officers that showed up were quite nice and took some pictures, borrowed my license, registration and insurance information and printed me a report for our insurance company.  (You should remember to get a police report when the damage is over $500)  Then, they bid me farewell and told me to drive carefully.  Wait a minute, I thought I was already driving carefully.

With my turn-signal hanging on by a thread, I drove the long dark highway home, with tears in my eyes and a thankful heart that I was still alive.  

It's better to find the blessings in a trial than to dwell on all that was lost.  Now we are praying for a speedy recovery for Elder Bryce.

Going through pictures

There's a lot of love in these pictures!  Especially between little Toots and Buddy Bryce!

This was the part that made me cry when we said our goodbyes at the MTC. 

It will be interesting to see if these two buddies will still be like this when he returns home.

Daddy Daughter Date

The first Daddy Daughter Date- with Napoleon Dynamite as the theme!  

They had a blast!

Sporting the glasses Tom wore in 1987  

Side ponytail, pumps, leggings and a brightly colored dress

Food (quesadilla's, corn dogs and tater tots)

Fun (Napoleon Dynamite trivia and races)

Scripture Reading with Emma

We gather our little family in the morning for scripture reading.  It is so fun to hear the little girls try to read such big words.  Toots was cuddled up on my lap and had read verse one in 1 Nephi, Chapter 17 and had decided that reading was too much effort.  She has a hard time reading first thing in the morning.  We usually assign her two to three verses, but today, she didn't feel like reading more.

We moved on to little Muffin.  She started reading while sitting, all cuddled up on her dad's lap.  They like to cuddle in the morning and read from the "Big Book of Mormon".

Muffin began.  "And so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon raw meat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck.... unto the men;" (Above is a scanned in copy of the section she was reading from.)

Immediately, we burst into laughter.  Poor Muffin had no idea what that meant and wondered why we were all laughing so hard.  She didn't realize that she had skipped a whole line.  That whole line made all the difference.

This is one of those mornings that reminded me of how grateful I am for my family.  I heard a quote once from a friend, "I smile, because I'm your sister.  I laugh, because there is nothing you can do about it."