Wading through the Bog

Today was the day, I was determined to mow the lawn. Regardless of the fact that it rained all night. We have had problems with the mower for quite some time and we are still working out the kinks. After fertilizing the lawn 2 times this year, you can imagine just how fast and thick it has grown with all of the rain we have received this past month. We have been trying to help family with moving, Tom with his project at U of U, working, and squeezing in a trip to California before Matt leaves and during all of this time, the lawn has grown to over a foot. Well, I put the mower to the test and set the blade on the highest setting and started cutting away at the bog of grass. Really it's only a 1/2 acre, no biggy!

I started at 9:00 a.m. and finished at 1:30 p.m. This was not my idea of fun. I love to mow the lawn, but not when it takes this long. Where the trampoline had been, the grass was so long and wet (like I said, it's been raining)(a lot), it took me several passes over the area with the push mower to get it cut. The lawn mower had met it's match. It died several times while mowing the bog. Once, it was cut, it looked all yellow due to the bottom never getting any sun. Not to mention that the grass was still not cut evenly because some of it was still laying flat on the ground.

No big deal right? Well, while trying to move the trampoline, I had to take the ladder off of it and lost one of the springs in the very long grass. I waded through it with my feet and hands and looked almost everywhere for that spring. Darn it! Wouldn't you know, there it was on my last section of grass to mow and I tore it with the mower blade. I was actually using extra precautions, by holding the mower front up and going as slow as I could, just so I wouldn't hit it, but I did. Now, I need to replace that spring.

So, I started to think about how this relates to my life, because I had a lot of time to think. (4 1/2 hours) In my life, I let too many things pile up on me. You know, like someone said something that hurt my feelings and I held it in and refused to let it go. Someone else lied to me about something, and I didn't let it go. Things were getting broken and my heart was one of them. Dealing with a siblings divorce and the sorrow that comes when you know there is nothing you can do, except pray and love them. Yet you still hear rumors about it that only make it worse. Another sibling is stuck in a hard place and I wanted to help, but finding out that it is better to let them grow from this and I need to stay out. There have just been a lot of emotions that have built up inside and I wasn't sure how to work them out until today.

I started to carry a huge load on my shoulders of things I wouldn't let go and it started clouding out the sun. Or I should more appropriately say, the Son. Sometimes, when I try to talk things out with others, trying to lighten the load I carry, I say the wrong things and make it worse. This is not my intent, and I hate feeling like this. I told a good friend that I just needed to figure out what I'm supposed to learn from this, and move on. Grow from it and move on.

So, if I could have kept up with the lawn on a schedule and mowed it every week, the grass wouldn't have been so hard to mow. It would have taken less time and it would have looked healthier after it was cut. The spring would not have been lost and run over. Now, it is going to take time to help the lawn look healthy again.

In life, if I would have let the things go, and worked it out when it happened, it would have been a lot healthier for me and I wouldn't have lost my connection with the Son. Even though I was reading my scriptures and going to church and feeding me spiritually, I was still buried by the other things that were hiding me from the Son. Now, it is taking some time for me to heal and get back to a scheduled time to keep my relationship close, with a loving Savior.